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The Anti-Alpha Show was a plot device intended for use in one of the many rewrites of "Gambol's Big Adventure: The Theatrical Experience!." Created by the world renowned Travis L. Hawkins, the series met a grim end after being on air for a single episode.

The Script

SOMETHING #1 BLAZING THREADS

[We start off by pretending this topic already exists. AlphaWarhawk has announced that he's going to make his own "anti-Show", and sure enough, a certain few are crawling out of the woodworks, begging to be in it or even write for it. Meanwhile, in the Task Force 51 chat...]


TheGrandmaster: What madman thought bringing back the "OBAB Show" was ever a good idea?

AlphaWarhawk: Someone who really loves spam, apparently.

TheGrandmaster: Lemme guess, ssj?

AlphaWarhawk: You just love to hate him, don't you?

TheGrandmaster: What can I say? I don't take kindly to being accused of lying.

AlphaWarhawk: Anyway, if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em and run 'em into the ground. That's my plan. It's a weird plan.

FairchildHawker: Half the plans you come up with are weird, Hawk.

AlphaWarhawk: Really, Mark? I'm not the one who plans to make an AVGN-sized collection of old game consoles!

FairchildHawker: ...Touché.

Mardante11: I think he'll sweep the other writers right off their feet, as if he were a janitor.

AlphaWarhawk: NO! NOT AGAIN WITH THE JANITOR PUNS!

FairchildHawker: I once swore in front of a janitor, and he told me to use clean language.

Mattaphobia: Enough!

[Matt temporarily locks the chat. Cut back to the SBM thread, where Spongebob & Patrick has responded.]

SB&P: Hey, can I please be in this show?

AlphaWarhawk: What for? Do we need really need yet another literal-minded character in this mess? The only person I'll add in here is someone who breaks the fourth wall!

Omnilectric: Ahem...this brings up a question. You're writing the story as we speak. How does the thread already exist?

AlphaWarhawk: Come on, Anneli! You weren't supposed to point that out! Don't you have any suspension of disbelief?!

Omnilectric: Well, I wanted to know!

AlphaWarhawk: Fine, I'll tell you. There's been a new innovation in IPBoard technology: Instant posts! They're published on the forum before the post is even finished.

Omnilectric: Seriously?

SB&P: Yes! Seriously! I'm reading it right now, and so are you! :P

AlphaWarhawk: Well, great freaking detective work there, SB&P...

Omnilectric: Captain Obvious much?

AlphaWarhawk: On second thought, I should've disabled the instant thread feature. This got seen far too early. Anneli, fast forward us!

Omnilectric: Preparing to fast forward!

AlphaWarhawk: FAST FORWARD!

[Fast-forward to the same thread 15 minutes later, now with Ol Bold and Brash asking to write another episode.]

AlphaWarhawk: Uhhh, when did this happen?

Omnilectric: Now. You're looking at now. Everything that's happening now is happening now!

AlphaWarhawk: What happened to then?

Omnilectric: We passed it.

OBAB: Hey Hawk, I want to write an episode of this show

AlphaWarhawk: Can it, Belongs-In-The-Trash, we're having some time travel tense trouble here! Now, where were we?

Omnilectric: We passed then, just now.

AlphaWarhawk: Oh, for crying out loud, we aren't in Spaceballs! I never wanted to be in Spaceballs! I give up!

OBAB: So can I write an episode??

AlphaWarhawk: Well, now, let's see, OBAB. What kind of plot do you have in mind?

OBAB: Someone spams "OBAB Show is god" in this thread and you ip ban them

AlphaWarhawk: Gee, where have I heard this one before? Deja vu much?

[Mardante shows up in the thread.]

Mardante11: I am Deja-vu Kid! I have the power to make events repeat themselves!

Omnilectric: We don't believe that's possible! NEXT!

AlphaWarhawk: Well, now that that's out of the way: OBAB, come back later when you aren't trying to write "someone gets banned" episode #154, kay? Comprende?

Pokemonpants: can i write an episode

AlphaWarhawk: Here we go again. Did he summon you here? Like you two are going to convince me of something?

Pokemonpants: i can make a perfect show for you

AlphaWarhawk: By that, you probably mean bring our dialogue down to My Immortal levels.

Mardante11: I am Deja-vu Kid! I have the power to make events repeat themselves!

Omnilectric: We don't believe that's possible! NEXT!

AlphaWarhawk: Really, you two? Stop interrupting!

Omnilectric: Well, tell this superhero reject to get out of the thread!

AlphaWarhawk: Mardante, you're fired.

SB&P: But, AlphaWarhawk, you aren't Donald Trump!

AlphaWarhawk: What, am I not allowed to say that just because I'm not Trump?

Omnilectric: He does a pretty good Trump impression though.

AlphaWarhawk: Once again, I say we build a wall to keep OBAB and Pokemonpants out. Make the Dump great again!

Omnilectric: Again? What do you mean again?

Mardante11: I am Deja-vu Kid! I have the power to make events repeat themselves!

AlphaWarhawk: That does it!

[Alpha and Omni end up getting into a fight with Mardante, which ends up spilling over into the thread for Pieguyrulz' review series.]

The DS Guy: STOP! What are you doing in here? This is a good, calm thread!

AlphaWarhawk: Screw you, I never liked your presence in this one to begin with!

[Alpha, Omni, and Mardante take their brawl back to the Task Force 51 Chatzy. Meanwhile, back on the original Alpha Show thread, SB&P, OBAB, and Pokemonpants are sitting around, without words due to what just happened. SB&P has just sent a mod report.]

SB&P: Someone, take us out of this thread!

[Hans comes in from the left to grab all three of them and take them off-screen. He then re-appears, putting the mods' signature padlock in as a reply, thus locking the Alpha Show thread.]

THE END?

No One Knows This But

  • In a vandal attack led by one Wintermelon43, the homepage of the OBAB Show Wiki was vandalized and replaced with a haunting message saying "NO IT FUCKING SUCKS! WATCH THE ALPHA ANTI SHOW OR THE SBM SHOW INSTEAD."
  • It's currently unknown if this series will ever be uncancelled.